he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
