You just made me feel so damn special
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
