is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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