He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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