Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
