There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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