this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
