Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
