things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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