what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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