So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
