apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
