Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
