Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
a search helicopter?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
