Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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