I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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