Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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