Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Are we still banned from the library?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize