There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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