i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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