I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize