BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The Olympian is in my bed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
