hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
