sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
what day is it and did you see me today?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
