Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
