it was like eating out sand paper
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
