He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
