We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
