thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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