the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
zippers are such a cool invention
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
