Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
