You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
