If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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