yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
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