Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
