She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
