i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you win again, gameday.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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