Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
