last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
