someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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