i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
