so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
