meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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