oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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