So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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