why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
