FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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