Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
