after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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