Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I looked at my own cervix.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
