my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
