Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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