Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My hand turned me down
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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