let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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