I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
