used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
