Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You ruined the universe
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
