so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
