she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize