so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
