Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
