im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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