I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
