Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
