At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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