He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
