lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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