Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
