there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
