This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
