How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
